So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
