Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
