imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
