I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize