i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
