I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
