Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize