You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
