There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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