Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
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This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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