Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I supernannyed him into submission
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
