you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
nutella sex= disaster
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
