He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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