Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My vagina is very pro this idea
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
