I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
they call him Oral-B. enough said
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
