benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize