I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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