Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
