Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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