there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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