I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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