the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
