but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
