I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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