next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
