She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
