Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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