I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
