im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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