It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
