is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
