He asked to "fluff my boner.."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.