I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
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i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?