Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
