There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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