you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
