rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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