i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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