I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
