i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
