Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize