Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
