I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Terrible idea I love it
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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