the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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