like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
