i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
