he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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