I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
