If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
