It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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