It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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