I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
