Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize