White coat. Heels.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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