do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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