No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
